can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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