my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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