you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
