So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I have fence marks all over my body
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
