I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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