How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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