The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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