sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
