Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
