your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
