i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
