He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
did i walk over a car last night?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
