I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
