Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
