So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
