Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize