So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
