Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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