It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
