Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
