Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
