He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
