he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
