If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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