rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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