i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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