Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It's just like the Real World with babies
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
