Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
