one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
