i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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