It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
