he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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