I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
