We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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