My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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