I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
