I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
