u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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