i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
