I skipped work to stalk him.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
