I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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