I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
