I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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