First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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