well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize