Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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