hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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