They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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