He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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