Yo dont text me then not text me
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
