are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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