it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
