why didn't you poke me back
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
