I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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