I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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