i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize