Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
