I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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